41 Myths About Australian Culture That Americans Find Fascinating And Aussies Find Infuriating
“G’day there Shiela, fix me a Foster’s while I saddle up the kangaroo to ride into town.”
1. All Australians ride kangaroos around. Don’t laugh, it continues to be asked to this day.
2. Four words: Shrimp on the barbie. For the last time, it’s prawns.
3. We’re all inherently easy-going, no-worries kinda people.
4. We can’t get through a single sentence without swearing. We can. It’s just fucking hard.
5. Vegemite is eaten in a manner similar to Nutella.
6. Everybody knows how to surf.
7. Everybody walks around barefoot.
8. All the men look like Chris Hemsworth.
9. All the women look like Margot Robbie.
10. And those who don’t, are still quintessentially fit, tan and blonde.
11. We all love to drink a cold pint of Foster’s. Not true, we wouldn’t be caught dead ordering it at the bar.
12. We all know one another. Go on, ask me again if I know “your friend from Australia.”
13. We all live in the Outback. Actually, it’s quite the opposite — almost 90% of our population live in urban areas.
14. But if we do live in a city, it’s an easy walk from the beach.
15. It’s hot and sunny every day of the year.
16. It never snows.
17. We don’t have a national cuisine. Oh boy, you couldn’t be more wrong.
18. But when we do cook, it’s always done on a barbecue.
19. Because when it comes down to it, all we really eat is meat.
20. Every single spider is out to kill us.
21. In fact, every animal in Australia has murder on the mind.
22. Also: Drop bears. Although in fairness, we love when Americans believe this one.
23. We’re all related to convicts.
24. We all say “G’day!”
25. And we all sound the same: Broad, bogan and overwhelmingly ‘Strayan.
26. We’re always drunk.
27. And when we do drink, it’s generally done via a shoey.
28. We wear akubras on our heads.
29. Flip flops on our feet — thongs, in the native tongue.
30. And budgie smugglers on the beach.
31. Every Aussie has come face-to-face with a great white shark.
32. Which they evaded by punching it square in the nose.
33. Because, let’s face it, every Australian is a bona fide wildlife expert.
34. Kangaroos just wander around the streets.
35. While dingoes rummage through the bins.
36. And our pet koalas chill out in the backyard.
37. All Aussie men play rugby like the pros.
38. And have the physiques to match.
39. We’re all loud, uncouth and, well, pretty dumb.
40. But you better believe we’re also adamant rule-followers, who obey every command from our government.
41. And finally, outside of the cities, Australia is practically one big, endless desert — on par with even the Sahara.